Waiting to Wait

I took my last birth control pill yesterday. It has not been the most pleasant experience, but tis life. I didn't expect it to be much, I mean its birth control.  Welp, it was more than I anticipated.  I didn't feel like myself and if this is any clue of how the next couple of weeks will go I better prepare myself for anything and everything.  

I received a big box of ridiculously expensive medication on my porch Saturday. Talk about intimidating. I cannot even imagine what would happen if said big box of ridiculous expensive medication was stolen from my porch.

We are meeting with our nurse to go over the medication and calendar on Wednesday.  As of right now I have no set or estimated first egg retrieval date but after some quick research I am thinking it will be the week of Memorial Day, if not Memorial Day itself.  Perfect timing for G's work schedule - NOT.

This has been the first reality that our new version of "making a baby" is very much different than the old.  Our life is now controlled by an IVF calender, but if it results in a take home baby it will be worth every single inconvenience.  No complaints here, just realities.

Anywho!  The current wait list consists of starting stims on Friday, blood test results from my hematologist appointment (fingers crossed I pass those with flying colors), another med shipment (promised to be much less intimidating than the last) and our first egg retrieval. 

Then more waiting.

I have been asked a few times about how I feel, and I cant describe it. I thought I would be more nervous than I am.  I am excited, but hesitant to allow myself pure excitement. Does that make sense? The last few months have been nothing less than chaotic.  In other words, my plate is full.  Just as I was finding peace we are now embarking on a journey which guarantees many ups and downs. 

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