Go Time!

After three egg retrievals we finally had our FET (frozen embryo transfer) yesterday afternoon. I spent the morning keeping busy with a long walk where I found a Robin's nest in one of our trees, penny (heads side up!) and an Egret which we rarely see. It was a feel good walk to really take in the moment and clear my mind.

It worked I was relaxed even despite the Medrol jitters.

We met with our RE prior to transfer to discuss the stages of the embryos we were transferring. Our embryologist thawed three embryos. One of the embryo did not thaw well enough for him to consider suitable for transfer, but the other two thawed with one even hatching on its own. The other hatched with a little help from our embryologist. My RE also answered all of the questions we had and reviewed my chart which is literally as thick as a phone book. At this point, I was dancing in my seat, because my bladder was that full.  My RE loves to talk, but at this point I wanted to get down to business.

My nurse dropped me a Valium and we were on our way to transfer some embabies.  My bladder was way too full and I had to "go and stop mid flow" three times before it was ready to go. How much water did I really drink?  My tilted uterus caused no issues and it was over in a bleep of a second. It was wonderful to have my husband there to experience the transfer with me. It was also hilarious to hear his questions for the doctor and embryologist. Let me be honest, he is nowhere near as IVF educated as myself.

Our embryologist told us at the time of transfer both embryos were hatched and expanding. Excellent news!

So, now we wait...

Craving Normalcy

This last week has been full of ups and downs. My lining has been progressing - almost a 10, but my estrogen decided to drop after my second blood draw (which of course is uncommon) Obviously things were just going too calmly for the life of K.  My estrogen is really quite the wench. She is notoriously low normal and I have no reason as to why. Yesterday's blood draw showed my estrogen at 248. My RE wants it at 300 before starting PIO. FINGERS CROSSED my estrogen can pull herself together and we can get there by Monday. 

So, lets say my estrogen does make it to 300 by Monday and my lining stays or increases; its looking like an Easter Eve transfer because of course! We need to stick with the trend.  My retrievals loved the holidays, so its just tradition that my transfer does too. My RE clinic must love us. 

I am growing just as tired as my veins at this stage of the game. Who would have thought? It's been a year of treatments and waiting and treatments and injections and waiting and anxiety. I am sick of arranging my life by injection times, blood draws and all the other craziness that comes with infertility treatments. Most of all I am sick of Brazil Nuts. 

I can see a happy ending - I truly can, but I am terrified to feel it. 

because everyone carries a syringe and baby dust in their purse

FET > Egg Retrieval

Last week was bumpy, to say the least. I was extremely emotional and a tad bit irrational, but this week has been so different. I am feeling calm and relaxed which is such a change from my egg retrieval cycles. I was expecting much more anxiety during this FET, but there has been very little. I know the anxiety will build during the two week wait, but for now I am relishing in feeling good, and even like myself! The blood draws and vaginal ultrasounds put a cramp in my style, but whatever. I will take it!

I had a monitoring appointment this morning and things look good. My estrogen levels are "actually pretty good" according to my nurse and my lining is also "on target." I spared myself from the actual numbers because sometimes the less you know - the better.

I go in for another lining and estrogen check on Friday, and hopefully start the dreaded PIO that evening. 

As I had my feet in the stirrups this morning I truly realized how easy this was compared to my egg retrievals. I cannot imagine transferring a fresh embryo in the shape that I was in. 

A frozen embryo transfer is so much less involved. I am popping a couple extra pills (estrace), remembering my tiny Lupron shot in the evening and having a couple monitoring appointments. Easy peasy. I am sure not everyone has the same experience, and I am truly grateful for things to be going swimmingly. It's about time!

Welp, back to my POM juice and brazil nuts. 

Check! Check!

Lining check!

The phlebotomist told me I should drink more water before coming in for blood draws.  DO I LOOK LIKE A NEWBIE? Improve your skills lady!

Ugh. 

I have been trucking along on Estrace since Thursday when I began 2mg once daily and today jacked up my dose to 4mg twice daily. 


My lining is at an 8!

Is it the POM juice, brazil nuts, Vitamin E or light cardio? Who knows, but lets keep on track little ol' plump uterine lining of mine. Keep making me proud!

Now my estrogen... My RE would like to see it at 300 prior to transfer. In the past with follicle growth, my estrogen likes to take the slow scenic route and then BAM were at 3,000. I'm a slow responder. 

I go back in on Wednesday for monitoring and possibly more blood tests for the blood clotting stuff and a NKa test just to make sure. I asked my nurse to mention it to my RE. I will do whatever she recommends.

I have been feeling much better than last week where I had a three day migraine from hell. Most likely courtesy of Lupron, but it also began shortly after Estrace. 

Who knows. Who cares. Its gone. THANK GOODNESS. 

Emotionally I have been a basket case which is pretty typical. I am terrified but optimistic. As of recently I feel very in control which is weird because in reality I have control over absolutely nothing, but I do have all of my laundry done so maybe that's it.  It doesn't take much for me these days! 

Until Wednesday...

Jesus, Politics and Cardio

How am I doing? I get asked this often. Then again doesn't everyone? Although, for me its a bit of a loaded question.

I started Lupron Monday which is nothing foreign to me or my body. I had been injection free for the last three months and believe it or not that is the longest I have been injection free since my first injection of Follistim in May. Craziness.

Woke up with a slight headache yesterday morning that progressed throughout the day but then fades and goes away, but quickly comes back.  It's not a migraine, for this I am thankful for. I cannot describe it. I am prepared for my body to hate Lupron just as much as it did the first and second time.  

So, that's the known. My body hates Lupron, but the shots are easy peasy and only once a day.  Can't complain there. 

I am scheduled to have an ultrasound next Wednesday to ensure all is calm in this female reproductive system of mine and then will start Estrace followed by the dreaded PIO (Progesterone in Oil). This is new to me. I have heard it is all in all much easier on your body than the whole egg retrieval process, but its new and new is scary.  I will also have monitoring appointments, but from what I have heard not as many and only concentrating on my lining rather than follicle growth. Whats another vaginal ultrasound? Easy peasy!

I have hemmed and hawed about starting acupuncture for the embryo transfer and ultimately decided against it.  I am in the midst of busy season at work, and the added appointments will most likely stress me out more than add value. However, I am following my doctor's order for very light cardio sessions at 40 minutes each 4 times a week.  This has truly helped with the stress relief. 

Emotionally I am alright. I have had bouts of tears since starting the BCP, but again that's nothing new. I am afraid of defeat, but really working hard on staying positive.  The cardio sessions have been helping and my husband and I have decided to make church more of a mandatory event. The 2016 Primaries have also kept my mind busy, but I get teary eyes every time I hear Rachel Platten's "Fight Song" during Hillary's speeches.  

I get by with a little help from my friends; Jesus, politics and cardio. Whatever works huh?