What We Wish You Knew

I have been very open regarding our baby making struggles with the hopes of spreading awareness. I have also hoped that my willingness to be so open would develop an understanding to those close to me. An answer to my tears, fears and anxiety. I wanted to compile a few tid-bits of what others wish their family and friends knew regarding their own fertility struggles.  Once you have an idea of what someone is going through it makes things so much easier to understand.

• Infertility has a tendency to take over your life.  There is no woman on a bigger mission than a woman trying to conceive. Whether you are at the beginning of your journey and obsessing over your cycle and peeing on every stick you can get your hands or going through treatments where your life is controlled by your IVF/IUI calender and RE's recommended bedtime.

• It's an emotional rollercoaster with so many ups and downs.  The whole journey is a journey into the unknown.   

• We could do without the unsolicited advice.  There is no need to share your list of reasons why living childless is awesome or mention adoption because there are plenty of children in this world looking for parents. Just dont.

• It's okay to ask questions. Those struggling with infertility are some of the strongest women I know. It is better to ask questions than to assume. People will share what they are comfortable sharing.

• Holidays are often brutal. It doesnt matter what the holiday - they can all be triggers. Do your best to respect boundaries without judgment and with compassion.

• The majority of insurance companies do not cover infertility treatments. In fact, they are looked upon as "elected procedures" because ya know infertility treatments are just so similar to breast implants. The financial strain of infertility is just as real as the emotional strain.

I jumped on Instagram to ask for other's opinions on what they with their family and friends knew regarding their infertility struggles and/or ART (assistant reproductive technology).  Here are a few...

• That it is okay to just say "good luck", I am here to listen and I am sorry.  We are not looking for advice, just support. (ttc_baby_r)
• That it really is *that* hard.  So many people, yes even family seem to think we overreact, that it cant hurt that much.  It does.  (audreyandmyangels & Blog)
• The expense is one of the hardest parts, so support me emotionaly and be respectful of what I am going through, but also dont judge me when I can't go out or take a trip.  It adds additional stress that I don't need. (icsibittybabydreams)

According to Resolve, infertlity is defined as the inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term after 12 months of trying.  Infertility is a disease that affects 10% of the population. 

What do you wish the other 90% of the population knew?