Nobody Said It Would Be Easy

I was watching Little Women of LA last night and one of thewomen was beginning to go through IVF with PGD (to avoid double dominance), and she decided it was too much. Shortly after her sonohysterogram she said "its not for us". Things were just getting started and she saw the affects it was having on her marriage and she couldn't deal with the unknown and financial strains. 

I can't say I blame her. I never anticipated things would be this difficult. 

I have learned things become much more frightening with each cycle because you know exactly what to expect - extreme highs and extreme lows. 

The wait - oh the wait! The isolation period between cycles. It's all one long wait. 

The worry that comes with each appointment; will I be cleared to start stims? estrogen levels? number of follicles? size of follicles?  

The uncertainty of whether all of the time and money spent will pay off at the end and a sense of being out of control or powerless over the situation.  It's the ultimate gamble. A gamble of your time, emotions and money. 

We had hoped one cycle would be enough, but will now be embarking on a 3rd cycle. This terrifies me, but here we go again.