Faith & Loss

A week of appointments ending in some faith

 

I followed up with the ER OB who performed the D&C on Monday and followed that up with HGB/HCT/PLT blood test.  My levels are still low, but definitely coming back. Horray for all of those hamburgers and steaks I have been consuming.  My HCG is also at 0 and all of my parts are back where they were pre-pregnancy.  I will not lie.  Hearing this made me more sad.  I followed up with my regular OB on Tuesday who recommended the RPL (Recurrent Pregnancy Loss) Panel and a trip to an RE.  Lucky for me, I had already had one lined up for Thursday.

 

We had an appointment with the RE that we saw in June, and hoped to never have to see again.  It went well.  It was refreshing to not be in a paper gown, on my back and in stirrups.  It was more like therapy for my ovaries rather than examination of my ovaries.

There is a lot of unknown, but she did solidify the known positives:

• We were able to get pregnant
• Normal FSH/Estraidol levels on Day 3  

She had only met one couple that had suffered a triploidy loss, as we did with our first loss.  She also believes that both losses were very different which brings comfort and discomfort.  Ya know, more of my favorite thing “the unknown”.  We will not know the chromosomal results from the second loss until early April.  It was refreshing to hear she agreed both G and I should forgo the chromosomal karyotyping of our blood until we know the results from the second loss.  It makes sense seeing the triploidy loss was aneuploidy meaning it wasn’t a translocation or missing gene situation.  In addition, 50% of pregnancy losses are chromosomal with only 4-5% of them being from a parent’s genes.  Oy vey.

 

Her “hunch” is it may be poor quality eggs due to later ovulation (possible light case of PCOS) and inflammation. Then again it could also be auto immune related seeing autoimmune disorders run in my family. The blood tests shall be the final word.  It was reassuring to finally hear a doctor recognize that it was quite possibly more than just “bad luck”.

In the meantime,  I will be eliminating all processed carbs, corn and soy from my diet. No more scolding hot baths, saunas, caffeine or alcohol.  I am also going to be adding Omega Twin Oil, additional 1,000 mg of folic acid, 1,000 mg each of EPA and DHA, additional 2,000 iu of Vitamin D3 and 200 mg 2x daily of CoQ10 to my vitamin regimen. 

 

In addition to the “normal” RPL (Recurrent Pregnancy Loss) blood panel she also requested a 2 hr Glucose, Free and Total Testosterone, SHBG, DHEAS, 25-Hydroxy Vitamin D and Natural Killer Cell tests.  G will also be going through a SA and SA Fragment test. Cha-Ching! Cha-Ching! Is it worth the money? Absolutely, but I can still wish we never had to go down this road.   Alas, we are and God has to have a plan.

We have a follow-up appointment with the RE in 2 weeks, and she should have our test results by then.

The appointment in length was over an hour long.  She ended the appointment with her personal history of a chromosomal pregnancy with a geneticist telling her there was only a 1% chance of her having any healthy children.  She went on to have two healthy children. 

 

Hope and I can say after yesterday, I have it.

** To those who just experienced a pregnancy loss I give you this advice --- Step away from Google. I had diagnosed myself with 2342433 different scenarios and the truth is – Biology (as one of my good friends said).  After a loss, it’s all so raw.  You are desperate for answers and feel hopeless.  Your hormones are all over the place, you lost a baby.  You lost the dreams you had for this baby.  Be good to yourself.  Have faith. Develop the right support system for you. I am still deathly afraid of what the future may bring, but after today I have some faith and you deserve the same <3